he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
