is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
