his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
