I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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