Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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