Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
