Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
