I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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