If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
