I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
