i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
