k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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