Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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