hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
