this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
