Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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