Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
