yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
