I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
