32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
