So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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