so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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