Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
