umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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