one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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