I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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