He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
