I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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