Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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