pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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