let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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