Little spoons don't ask big questions
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
