You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
