So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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