FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
