what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
