Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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