Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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