totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
