I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Too much gin, very little bucket
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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