carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
