operation harelip BJ is a go
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
