would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
