Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
