ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
