did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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