singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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