Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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