after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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