you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
