I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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