We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
