What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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