i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
