There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
