Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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