i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
