y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
