I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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