my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
