Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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