He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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