Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
