Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
