Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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