I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
