we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
