Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
you never un-have a 4some
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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