Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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